Saddam Writes:

Dear Zach,

    Lately I have been feeling strange. Well, I feel strange often, but this time, I feel stranger than usual. You see, in the past couple of weeks, I have been experiencing strange sensations where random parts of my body spontaneously burst into flames. Lately, I have been strapping a fire extinguisher onto my back like a backpack for when these sensations occur. Is this normal? Should I be feeling this way about my problem? Did I do the right thing by asking a complete idiot who has no qualifications whatsoever? I'm so confused.
    Signed,
        Saddam

Zach's Advice:

    Whoa dude that must suck.  Well I can definitely tell you that its NOT normal, in any way shape for or way.  How do you feel about your problem?  I don’t know you didn’t tell me, but you should be feeling paranoid and slightly crispy.  And of course you’re doing the right thing by asking a complete idiot who has no qualifications what’s so ever.  Who else do you have to turn to help when times get rough?  Besides I’m not an idiot, I’m very smarts.  (Editors note; Zach goes to the Learning Center after school)

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