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How to Drink a Pop
	First, grab a pop. Oh, wait that's not funny... Grab a pop, first.
Place finger under tab. If you're too fat, you pudgy-fingered nerd, ask a friend. But, if you have no friends, because you're a pudgy-fingered nerd, use your teeth. And because you're a pudgy-fingered nerd, we won't illustrate how to use your teeth, because you're a pudgy-fingered nerd.
	Pull back. Don't back down.
Now back down.
	Elevate pop to face level.
Tilt pop, don't back down.
	...and keep it tilted until the stuff comes out and is on the object you want it to be on. (Editor's Note: For our hardcore fan, this is reused from the sauce "how to.")
Try to enjoy it Dusty, we know it's Code Red, but you can do it.
	Now, you CAN back down.
Maybe that was a little too much.
	Oh, no! It's gone. Bummer. I really like Code Red. Cough, Cough.
Now don't forget to rinse and crush for recycling. Or, just crush.
	If you have one of these fancy-shmanchy-handy-dandy pop crushers, use it as shown. Insert pop can.
Now put those well-worked-can-crushing muscles to work.
	And make them really...
...really...
	...really...
...really...
	...work hard.
Smile for the camera.
	Don't forget to crush it the rest of the way. And if you don't have shoes on, I'm sure you can handle it you pudgy-fingered nerd.
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