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Week Six - Grandma |
| Day 1: Jessica, that’s
her name. I think that’s the most beautiful name in the
whole wide world. I asked her why she goes to the retard,
she just hit me really hard. When I tried to ask her out
she kicked me in a bad place and walked away. Then I tried
to talk to her and she jumped on me and pulled my hair.
She hurt me three times in one day! She must really like
me. I wonder why she goes to the retard. |
| Day 2: Today I got
to see Terminator 2. Mommy was at work and daddy was home
so we watched Terminator 2. I loved it; it had two times
the robots! Except one was more like a strange silver
liquid and I can’t see how he is a robot but I still love him.
I noticed my daddy’s gun in his drawer. Maybe I should
do an impersonation of Terminator 2 and shot another robot like
the liquid one. I think it would be really cool to see
those bullet effects in real life. |
| Day 3: Today my grandma
visited me. My grandma is a strange woman she smells bad
and she wears a lot of makeup. Her skin is so incredibly
wrinkly that I have to think it is a suit but maybe that is
me just being hopeful. I don’t want to grow up and look
like her. I will find a way to live forever…I think it
has something to do with prunes… are prunes dried plums or mutated
raisins… I’m getting off topic. |
| Day 4: My grandma
has been harassing my mom to make me take piano lessons, she
says it is a “great thing and that I will appreciate it when
I grow up” so my mom agreed to do it. I heard her mutter
under her breath “I still don’t appreciate it you old hag” what
did she mean by that. What’s a hag? I asked my dad
he says my grandma is a hag…one more thing prunes will help
me avoid, becoming a hag. |
| Day 5: Today I was
really bored so I stuffed the remainder of the red bouncy ball
in my nose. It got stuck, I had to go the hospital and
get it removed. That stunk. |
| Day 6: My grandma
left today and I started my piano lessons. After an hour
lesson I have learned absolutely nothing about piano.
I just watched the lady play as I “astutely followed her hand
direction and got a feel for the flow of the music” what ever
that means, I just spaced out the entire time. |
| Day 7: I saw it today
and I was amazed, I saw a…yellow pole. I sat on the curb
for three hours trying to decide if I should lick it or not.
I mean this was a once in a life time opportunity (weird it
happened to me so young). If I didn’t lick the pole maybe
I would one day regret it and besides the rule about never licking
yellow poles didn’t come from daddy, it came from me.
I strangely do not feel bad about breaking my own rules.
I have incredibly low “values”. |
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