Little Billy Bruester woke sleepy-eyed to
the sound of his chattering alarm clock. Turning his head, he sluggishly lifted
his hand to shut it off. Unfortunately, all he swatted was air.
“Hmmm…maybe I should open my eyes first. …Duh!”
He thought to himself. This too, however proved to keep him in complete darkness.
“Well that’s odd. I better turn on the light switch
After stumbling over countless toys and objects, Billy finally
reached the light-switch. Click, click, click this wasn’t working. At
this time, Billy started to feel, well, a little freaked out.
“Wait a minute, this is morning, the sun should be
out, but it’s not! This is so confusing.” Billy said with a frustrated
voice.
Bumping into the door, Billy finally made his way into the
hall, where he managed to stumble down the stairs and onto the hardwood floor
of the living room. With barely so much as an OUCH! THIS FREAKIN HURTS!!! Billy
continued to make his way to the master bedroom where his parents were.
With his hands stretched out in front of him to see where
he was going, Billy entered the kitchen where the first thing his hands encountered
was one of the kitchen drawers. Hoping to find a flashlight, Billy instinctively
grabbed for the first thing he could find, which, unfortunately happened to
be a butcher knife.
“OUCHIE MOMMA!!!” screamed Billy as gooey blood
spilled from his throbbing hand.
“Who’s there!” yelled a familiar voice.
Billy turned his head as tears streamed down his face. He tried to say, “Daddy,
it’s me, Billy!” But all that came out was “ Dabby, ims me,
Biwwy!”
Thinking that Billy was some robber with a terrible speech
impediment, Billy’s Dad took a blind swing at the air.
SMACK! The bat creamed Billy square in the back of the head.
A battered body fell to the floor with a cold thud. As soon as all of this happened,
the Solar Eclipse ended, the power came back on, the storm cleared, and Billy’s
parents realized what they really pummeled with a bat. Little Billy Bruester
lay sprawled out on the floor motionless. His parents rushed him to the hospital.
Needless to say, Billy ended up living a fairly normal life,
besides some severe mental retardations from the bat swing. And if any lesson
is to be learned from all of this, it is that never whack a robber before you
know who it really is. But then again, what are the chances of any of this happening
anyway?…
